Thursday, January 1, 2009

A New Year's Prayer

I Hold My Life up to You Now

Patient God,
the clock struck midnight
and I partied with a strange sadness in my heart,
confusion in my mind.

Now, I ask you
to gather me,
for I realize
the storms of time have scattered me,
the furies of the year past have driven me,
many sorrows have scarred me,
many accomplishments have disappointed me,
much activity has wearied me,
and fear has spooked me
into a hundred hiding places,
one of which is pretended gaiety.
I am sick of a string of "have-a-nice-days."
What I want is passionate days,
wondrous days,
dangerous days,
blessed days,
surprising days,
What I want is you!

Patient God
this day teeters on the edge of waiting
and things seem to slip away from me,
as though everything were only memory
and memory is capricious.
Help me not to let my life slip away from me.
O God, I hold up my life to you now,
as much as I can,
as high as I can,
in this mysterious reach called prayer.

Come close, lest I wobble and fall short.
It is not days or years I seek from you,
not infinity and enormity,
but small things and moments and awareness,
awareness that you are in what I am
and in what I have been indifferent to.

It is not new time,
but new eyes,
new heart I seek,
and you.

Author: Ted Loder
from Guerrilas of Grace, 1981 - Augsburg Books
pp. 120-121

6 comments:

Jayne said...

Beautiful...
Happy New Year Roberta. :c)

Ellie Finlay said...

Happy New Year, Roberta!

Yes, I'm here in Albuquerque and it's wonderful so far.

I'll say more about it later. It's time for the next conference event.

Much love to you!

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

Quite wonderful. Thank you for posting it.

mrs. d said...

I forwarded this to my left coast writer buddies and they love it! Thank you so much for enriching lives not just of an immediate circle but of people you will probably never meet.

We're talking of holding our annual get-together up here in PT next year, in which case you will indeed meet them. I think you'll enjoy them; they're a wildly goofy and creative bunch.

Blessings on your 2009, Roberta, and our special greetings to Faith

sandy said...

Amen and amen--what a beautiful and truthful prayer. Sandy

monica said...

My Dear Roberta,
This will become a favorite prayer for me. It is what I need and said with such grace. Thank you for doing this. I look forward to everything you post. It has made me connected with you in a way that I know I can say anything to you.
Love and friendship,
Monica