While climbing out of my car in front of Safeway last week, a woman ran out the door of a nearby store, into the parking area, calling and waving to a friend she had spied across the lot. In the process she managed to drop her cell phone, which broke into several pieces. As she stared down at it her friend approached, looking happy to see her. The phone owner's response? She looked up at her friend and said, "Look what you made me do!" And now on to today's quote:"To argue that someone "made" us angry, or the child "made" us irritable or the interruption "made" us edgy is to argue that we are controlled by something outside ourselves. We are slaves to our environment. We have no control over our thoughts. Nonsense. It's simply the excuse we use to explain why we choose at any given moment to be less gentle than we can be."
- Joan Chittister, O.S.B.
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6 comments:
HA love that picture. I think that is what my phone looks like always...
Be gentle with yourself tomorrow.
Choices, choices. Today my message in lectio was to ask "why?" more often to myself to stop myself and PAY attention!
Roberta, Joan C's comment is right on, but your experience has a special dimension. It's a case of needing to assign blame. I.e., if something happens we don't like, somebody must be to blame. Some folks blame themselves for everything and just can't forgive themselves, so they can't believe that God or anybody else would forgive them. Others cannot accept that they might be the cause of their own problems or experiences. So someone else must be to blame. Of course, it's possible to learn over time that many events, even when unhappy or when they hurt, don't necessarily have to be anybody's fault. Nobody has to be to blame. The ancient Greek culture was a shame culture, not a guilt culture. There were things you did not do because you would be ashamed if you did them, and everybody else would be ashamed of you. Guilt, as we know it, did not play much of a role. By the way, I suppose it's okay to get mad if your cell phone smashes, if you have to, but even that anger hurts you and hurts any relationship you're exercising at the moment. Not that I don't get mad and also blame myself or others on occasion. But God's helping me see that I oughta let go of this kind of stuff and keep a tighter grip on that cell phone. - Brad
Damn, you made me think!!!
Hugs, gene
Sr. Joan is right. To say, "I blame...", "YOU did..." etc is to cede control of your own life to others. Blame, to me, is not useful as it doesn't solve the problem, but as Brad said, stokes anger and hurts relationship. When my mom had her first heart attack, the first thing she said was, "I blame your dad!" What?! I do not wish to give that control to any person.
BTW, the verification word is "cheat"!
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