Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Bon Voyage

When I arrived home tonight I saw that the wise men had been quite busy.  Bags were packed and by the door. They were so intent on peering at this map that they didn't even notice my entrance.
Me: Excuse me....What are you doing?
Wiseman #2:  Oh hello, dear landlady.  We are planning out our itinerary for our arrival in Paris.
Me:  Really?  You are going to Paris?  When?
Wiseman #3:  We leave tonight.
Me:  What?  Let me see the invitation.
Wiseman #1:  Well, that would be difficult as we told a wee lie to your dog Lucy. 
Wiseman #3:  Yes, we apologize, but we could not wait for you to return so we told her there was a treat inside of the envelope for her.  And knowing the high level of gullibility that your dog possesses, she jumped up onto our bed and ripped it open.  Fortunately we were able to read the invitation before Lucy devoured it along with the envelope.  You really should do something about that dog's lack of manners!
Me:  Well, you set her up.  Anyway, do I need to take you to the airport?
Wiseman #2:  That won't be necessary as a limo is being sent for us.
Me:  What?  This is all too much to take in.  And you all seem remarkably calm.
Wiseman #3:  You forget, dear landlady, that we are seasoned travelers who have followed stars to a manger in a field outside an obscure village.  Travel is in our blood.
Me:  Then why are you studying that map so intently?  Can't you just follow the stars in Paris?
Wiseman #1: Obviously you have not been to Paris of late.  The city suffers from high levels of air particle pollution and it would be impossible to navigate by stars.  Hence, the map!
Wiseman #2:  Enough of this chit chat!  We must get ready! 
Me:  Well, how will I know you are ok?
Wiseman #1:  we will text you.
Me:  Really?  with no arms?
Wiseman #1:  (icy stare)....cruelty is not becoming dear landlady.
Me:  I know. I apologize.  It's just that I'm going to miss you on Thanksgiving. 
Wiseman #3:  Knowing how attached you are to our royal-highness-ness, we left you a prayer and some selfies.
Me:  Selfies?  I really want to ask how you could possibly take a selfie but I know you will think it cruel so I'm just going to wish you safe journeys and bon voyage!

You've Got Mail Wiseguys!

Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Fifthwheelian, there slept three very wee wise men.  Nothing disturbed their slumber for months on end until one day the landlady received a letter addressed to their royal highnesses.  What should she do?  They looked so peaceful in their very ornate, very large bed.  There they lay, with their pinecone comforter to keep them toasty, while Mary and her precious baby gazed fondly from their rather over-the-top headboard. 
But this correspondence might be very important.
  So she crept up beside them and said, "Hey, wiseguys! wake up!  You've got mail!" And so the sleepyheads returned to reality, looking like they had overslept, which of course they had.
wise man #1:  oh my!  what an intriguing piece of correspondence!
I see the plane and the flag of France!
wise man #2:  and I see Viva la France!
wise man #3:  good grief!  I see nothing but blur.  I must need glasses!
me:  yes, it is quite blurry. let me bring it closer.

wise man #3:  Ah much better.  Yes, it's definitely from France.
And oh, look!  It's marked "personal."
me:  I noticed that so I didn't open it.  But I have to go to work now.
wise man #1:  what? you can't just leave us with this mystery. 
We have no arms!  who will open it?
me:  I'll open it when I get home!  I must go or I'll be late.
Have a great day!



Saturday, November 22, 2014

Chronic unhappiness

"7 Habits of Chronically Unhappy People" by Tamara Star. When I saw this headline on Huffington Post this morning I just had to click it! (to read the article click here.)  Tamara goes into more detail on the site but here are the 7 habits she describes:

1) Your default belief is that life is hard.
2) You believe most people can't be trusted.
3)  You focus on what's wrong with the world vs. what's right.
4)  You compare yourself to others and harbor jealousy.
5)  You strive to control your life.
6)  You consider your future with worry and fear.
7)  You fill your conversation with gossip and complaints.

Know anyone who fits all 7?  how about 5?  3?  how about yourself?  I see several that I know quite intimately. And even if none of these apply to you, being around someone who lives these mantras can be draining and exhausting.

One of the things I've learned working as a hospice chaplain is that even though someone may have spent a large portion of their life viewing the world through several pairs of these skewed glasses, by the time they receive a hospice referral and we have had an opportunity to talk about their impending death, most of these beliefs have been allowed to fade into the background, seen to be not as important to keep holding onto, or even viewed with some humor. When faced with death, many begin to see more clearly or at least get a new prescription for their glasses.  Let's not wait until then to change our unhappiness habits.

unhappy sunflower taken from