72 Labors of Perpetual Care

So my CPE experience ended two months ago and I've been waiting to see how all that I learned (or unlearned) while at Evergreen will play out in my life.  I'm not quite ready to talk about it in detail.  I'm just letting it seep into the cracks and crevices of my very being.  But I will share the meditation I penned for our biweekly IDG meeting at hospice as it grew as a result of my CPE experience. 

One of the books that our CPE supervisor taught from in weekly Didactic sessions was "How Then Shall We Live" by Wayne Muller.  It's a great book.  We're reading through it in our Lectio Group.  Everyone is enjoying it immensely.  Thanks Delmas!

The following writing is my response/interpretation of a reading from the “How Shall I Live, Knowing I Shall Die” section of Wayne Muller’s 1996 book, “How Then Shall we Live.”  Names in the story have been changed for privacy.

The 72 labors of perpetual care

July 23, 2014

 

There is an old Buddhist prayer that monks recite before meals that begins with this line: "First 72 labors brought us this food.  We should know how it comes to us.”  Their point being that we should become more aware of all the connections in our life.  Do you ever think about such labors in regards to your own food?  In light of this prayer let’s consider my morning latte which is something I take for granted on a daily basis.  How many people did it take for it to get to me?  I’m not exactly sure but here goes: the Farmer who prepared the field, the planter, the picker, processor, roaster, miller, exporter, importer, dock workers, ship workers, truckers, packagers, grinders, brewers, cup manufacturers, coffee machine makers, the coffee stand owner and of course, the Baristas.  That’s just 18 labors that I know of and that’s without even discussing the milk!

What would my life be like if I remembered all these connections?  How much more grateful would I be for this latte that sits in front of me? And how much more would I enjoy the latte knowing how much I have received?  Did you know that gratefulness slows time down?

Over the past 2 weeks I’ve had several conversations with people in which the idea of giving and receiving was mentioned. Everyone agreed that giving was a lot easier than receiving.   For all of us here at this table today, we know how to give.  It’s probably why we went into hospice work.  We love to give.  But many of us struggle with receiving.  We almost bristle at the idea of receiving.  Why is that?  I think it’s because we easily forget reality.  And that reality is that we constantly rely on others for our well-being (and for our lattes.) 

This was made very evident this week at the office when our co-worker, Lina, quite suddenly became very ill.  How frightening that was.  And yet she was not alone.  Her experience did not occur in a vacuum.  Everyone gathered around her.  Everyone felt her pain and her fear.  And just as those 18 labors connected me to my morning latte how much more were we all connected to Lina and one another?  911 was called.  EMT’s arrived.  Rhonda took blood pressure & monitored vitals.  Kristen lay on the floor with her. Doug managed the phones and Julie rode to the hospital with her.  Doctors and nurses cared for her.  Maggie kept us posted as to her status.  Her family gathered around her.  Technicians took x-rays and MRI’s and CAT scans.  All those connections.  All that love. 

You could feel the tension amongst those of us waiting here in the office as we continued working while wondering how Lina was doing. I was thrilled when Julie called looking for a ride back to the office from the hospital for then I too became one of the 72 labors!   We were connected in our humanity.  And it served as a good reminder of what our patients experience from us as caregivers.

What we forget to remember is that “we are in the perpetual care of others.”[1] I looked up the definition of “perpetual.”  It means “never ending or changing, occurring repeatedly, so frequent as to seem endless and uninterrupted.”   We are not independent. We are in the perpetual care of one another.  We are interdependent.  We are givers and we are receivers.  We can’t be one without the other.  Perhaps in giving we heal ourselves and in receiving we heal others. Or maybe it’s the other way around?  

I invite you to pause today to think through the 72 or 32 or 18 labors of something or someone you take for granted.  Maybe it’s the water coming out of your tap, or the road you drove into work on today or the medication that keeps a loved one well.  Whatever it is, remember that we have much to be grateful for within all of our daily connections, no matter how mundane they may appear.  Let us give thanks for the opportunity to give to one another and to receive from one another.  May we continue to offer perpetual care for one another, for ourselves, and for our patients.  And may Lina recover completely from her vertigo.   Amen

---

[1] How Then Shall We Live, Muller, p. 227

 

Tea time

"There are few hours in life 

more agreeable than the hour 

dedicated to the ceremony 

known as afternoon tea."

Henry James

Last Saturday my friend Helen invited me to spend the day in Victoria.

This photo was taken at Butchart Gardens, where we enjoyed Afternoon Tea,

while enjoying the gardens & the water through this window.
This was our Downton Abbey moment.

Here are 2 other photos that Helen took in Butchart.
She takes marvelous photos!

 

Another milestone

 

Someone asked me recently what my plans were for my 60th birthday. 

My response?  "I'm getting my shingles shot!" 

I don't think that was the response they were expecting,

but having watched several of my friends suffer through the shingles

and knowing that the recommended age for the shot is 60,

this is a no-brainer! I'm off to get that dang shot!

 

And yes, I do plan to do other awesome birthday type activities

which include blowing out birthday candles and 

delighting in my friends and family.

 

I am one very blessed gal!

The Prodigal Pup

Today's gospel is from Luke 15 in which Christ continues to shock both pharisees and scribes by hanging out with the less desirable members of society.  In response Jesus gives them the parable of the Prodigal Son. 

Below you will find a reprint of my blog post from three years ago.  I loved it then and I love it now.  And frankly (no pun intended), my wiener dog is the perfect prodigal prop.

"Every time I return home my dog, Lucy, goes berserk. First there's that sweet moment when she realizes that I have returned from wherever I've been. Then there is that mad dash to get to me. This can occur at a dizzying level of speed. This is followed by the jumping up on me, the piddling, the squeaking, and the frantic tail wagging. And the length of time that I'm away doesn't seem to factor in to her uber-excitement. I can be gone a week or 20 minutes. It's all the same to Lucy. And I love it for who else is so consistently overjoyed just by my walking into their range of sight?

Here's what I know about my dog. She is the spittin' image of the Father in the parable of The Prodigal Son. You know the story, boy is unhappy with his lot in life, asks dad for his inheritance, dad hands it over, boy blows it all and has to crawl back home. He is expecting to hear a litany of "I told you so's" but instead his dad acts just like my dog. Running, kissing, hugging, and I am undone by such a display of love - as I'm sure that son was. Like the Prodigal Son's Father, Lucy's mercy is neverending. I continue to learn a lot from her.

P.S. Oh yeah, and about that "put-out attitude" of the older brother. Definitely cat behavior."

Move In Day



It's move in day.  David and I are starting to put our "stuff" into our 5th wheel which is parked in our daughter's sideyard.  We've been living in her spare bedroom since October so now we're feeling like we are taking up an extravagant amount of space.  And I've brought the wise guys over.  I took them out of their box and placed them in front of the kitchen window to ease them into their new digs.  So far they haven't said anything.  Can't tell if they are mad or in shock.  Plus I haven't quite figured out how to break the news that they missed the Feast of the Epiphany.  But they are the wise men.  They probably already know that.  Which explains the silence.

So I'll leave you with a quote from their Thomas Merton book - the only reading material they've had in their box for the last 3 months:


"When I am liberated by silence,
when I am no longer involved in the measurement of life,
but in the living of it,
I can discover a form of prayer in which there is effectively, no distraction.
My whole life becomes a prayer.
My whole silence is full of prayer.
The world of silence in which I am immersed contributes to my prayer."

-Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude, p.103

Advent Calendars!

Is it just me, or are Advent calendars becoming very popular these days? 

 Everywhere I turn I see them.  For instance,

You've got your Star Wars Advent Calendar:

 

 

And the Barbie Advent Calendar:

 

 

Let's not forget the Beer Advent Calendar:

 

 

And for all the feline fanciers out there, the Cat Advent Calendar:

 

We currently have four Advent Calendars in our home, though none of the above mentioned. 

This must make us a) obsessed with countdowns b) very into Advent,

c) your typical over-the-top consumer, or d) all of the above.

 

The first Advent calendar is one I've had for years. 

It consists of a wooden box filled with doors behind which the seeker will find 

tiny hand blown glass ornaments that are hung on a small tree. 

 This is always a hit with the little ones.

 

Our next Advent calendar has the ever popular Scandinavian Holy Family - all blondes...

notice there are several windows open:

 

 

Every year we receive the Slow Down Advent Calendar at church, which is on our back door:

Every day there is something to read and you can color on it if you so wish:

 

 

And last but definitely not least is the Trader Joe's chocolate calendar:

 

 

This one has caused some issues with Fredrick who is 2. 

 Once he discovered that there was CHOCOLATE

behind that first door he wanted to punch in all the doors.

And why not?  Why can't he just have it all?

 

 Through his 2 year old eyes he probably saw the calendar looking like this one

(which I stole from here.)

 

 

Um....it's not just 2 year olds who have trouble waiting.

I completely relate to the No Self Control Calendar.

And yet, we are called to wait.

For the birth of the holy one.

 

So no matter what kind of Advent calendar you follow,

enjoy opening one day at a time,

living in the present.

And remember this:

 

Waiting is our Advent spiritual practice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

Growth means Change

 

People have asked, “Whatever happened to Roberta?” Well, I am still here! I find lots of wonderful things to post but never quite get around to actually putting them on my blog. This in part is due to my scattered sense of self as I continue to grasp all the changes my husband and I have recently gone through with our business, our family and our dreams.

Last Thanksgiving we were struggling with the idea of closing our business, dissolving a partnership, familial estrangement and the panic that comes with drowning in debt. That was one year ago. What looked hopeless in our eyes was not. So during this Thanksgiving meal we expressed our gratitude for all that has happened since that last Thanksgiving:

In January we closed the statuary, and the world did not end. It was actually a relief. Then we sold our house after 5 years on and off the market. This was a relief, both emotionally and financially. And because we are not quite sure how we want to live (i.e. move into a house, buy a 5^th wheel, etc.) we chose to accept our daughter Faith’s invitation to move in with her family. Talk about downsizing! We are now in the process of paying down debt, and waiting for whatever is next…..

But as often happens, life happens as you wait….and a fine life it is! David is working less and spending more weekends at home (which is a very good thing) and I am working more. I’m enjoying the C.N.A. life skill classes I teach at the college, and the sacred time I spend with my Spiritual Directees. I’m slowly edging away from my role as Director of Spiritual Formation at St. Paul’s as I have recently taken on the position of part-time Chaplain for Assured Hospice here in Sequim! I was not expecting this. But then again, one never expects the gifts God brings. I have so much to learn and look forward to more growth…and we especially give thanks for our recent reconnection with our estranged family members.

As for the blog, I will be posting Advent reflections (which start next week) and of course the Wise Men will be making their annual appearance. They have been with me through all the changes and they too have had to deal with changes – like losing their home on their shelf…you know what whiners they can be!

In the meantime, know that I think of all of you….every day….and am grateful for such wonderful people in my life….May we all be at peace with our own souls….and with one another….

Roberta

tulip haiku

It’s very grey in Sequim today, but yesterday was glorious.

I spent most of it in the garden, soaking up the sun, admiring the tulips.

 

 

So here’s a tulip haiku for you. 

*

Tulip Haiku

 

“Planted, Dormant, Fall.

First Bloomers in Springtime Sun.

Cups above the Stems.”

- Marie M. Daniels

*

 

Even Quan Yin was soaking up the sun:

 

 

While the biker gnome was imagining being on the road again:

 

 

 

vacuum man

It's just not possible to love God in a vacuum.

We need each other. We need community.

photo of vacuum man outside a store

in south carolina from here.

Squirrel Day!

Did you know that January 21st is

National Squirrel Appreciation Day?

Take your favorite squirrel out for an acorn quiche today.

Maybe then they'll leave your bird feeders alone?

Love Thy Neighbor Near & Far

I received not one but two letters today (one was certified) from the CC&R Compliance Committee where our rental is located telling me that a regulation had been violated - Section 3.4.11 in particular - a garbage can and a BBQ were investigated and documented as being on the garage side of the dwelling.

I have 10 days to deal with this issue before I will be fined. Whatever happened to someone knocking on the door to ask the tenants to move the items? Or calling the owners?

Where does this situation fit in light of those suffering from famine in Somalia, or in light of those who have lost jobs and face foreclosure, and what about our collective fear surrounding the global economic crisis? We have little influence over all that.

Perhaps keeping trash cans and BBQ's in their proper places gives us a feeling of having control over something. Right now I need to harness my reaction to something so minor. Think I'll ponder the words on that colorful sign at the top of this post and say some prayers for all my neighbors - near and far.

Summer Breeze

"There is nothing in the Holy

that is not being revealed

100 percent right now."

-Gerald Hair

After spending the entire day wrestling with technology

I had the pleasure of sitting by my bedroom slider tonight,

listening to the rustling leaves and melodic windchimes

as they moved in the evening breeze. It's amazing how

calming the sounds of nature can be to a cranky old soul

such as myself. And all it takes is my stopping what I'm

doing, and noticing that all is holy.

Then I began to hum that old Seals & Croft song -

"Summer breeze makes me feel fine -

blowing through the jasmine in my mind."

(or lavender for Sequimites)

It was a respite-filled moment.

photo of dungeness bridge

Zoe's Feast

Have you ever seen the film Babette's Feast?  It's the story of a French refugee arriving at the door of 2 elderly and austere Scandinavian spinsters to work as their housekeeper and cook.  Babette works quietly for years before winning 10000 francs in a French lottery and instead of using the money to move back to Paris she spends all of it on the creation of a sumptuous banquet to end all sumptuous banquests in order to show her appreciation for her hosts and their congregation. 

Well tonight I had the taste of a Babette in the making.  Her name is Zoe, and she is the 13 year old granddaughter of my friend Donna.  She spent 2 days preparing an amazing meal for us. We began with a lovely bruschetta appetizer and then sat down to the main meal of stuffed ravioli and bacon wrapped shrimp and spinach salad.  Did I mention that Zoe made the ravioli from scratch?  Did I also mention that she makes up her own recipes?

Then we finished with a dessert of raspberry mousse with our initials created in chocolate.  (Mine is sideways in the picture.)  All I kept thinking was "Holy Food for Holy People".....you could taste the love.  And it was definitely a Eucharistic moment.  Thank you Zoe for sharing your creative gift.  May your passion for preparing such feasts continue as you bless all those who partake of such a grace as this.

If you can just keep your head...or not

One of the best parts of owning a Statuary

is that I can bring the orphans home.

I'm not sure why I like these three so much

but they make for pleasant company.

And they give a whole new meaning to Rudyard Kipling's poem, "If"....

"If you can keep your head when all about you

are losing theirs and blaming it on you;"

Cell Rage

No matter how mindful, holy, or present I can possibly be it all goes to hell in a handbasket after spending an hour and a half being transferred 6 times at Verizon Wireless.  Where is my compassion?  Well it flew out the window after the first hour of being told that my call was important and that the next available operator would take care of my needs.  Did I mention the 3 hang-ups?   I'd like to see His Holiness the Dalai Lama deal with a phone tree and keep his cool, know what I mean?

P.S. I have to admit the operator that is now helping me is wonderful and apologetic about all the transfers.  And yes, I am treating him kindly, which is always an amazing feat for an "8"........

absurdity of certainty

"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd."

– Voltaire: philosopher, writer

It's been several weeks now since this day arrived without the predicted outcome & I'm wondering how those who believed with such certainty are coping in the aftermath? Have they walked away from their faith? Have they made amends with their loved ones? Or have they just chosen another date?  At the very least, I hope they had enough money left to have their truck painted.

Intentions & Transformations

"There is a huge force field that opens

when intention focuses and directs itself

toward transformation."

- John O'Donohue

I recently took my granddaughter down to Kah Tai Lagoon in Port Townsend. Lydia, who is 9, was intrigued from the moment she entered the park. It was all I could do to keep her on the path as she darted to and fro, talking at 100 miles a minute, while touching wildflowers and pointing out all the strange bugs. I could hear myself saying, "be careful" and "don't get too far ahead" and other sorts of adult admonitions. It wasn't until she ran straight towards a tree (off the path of course), wrapped her arms around it and exclaimed, "Oh Grandma! this is my favorite tree in the whole wide world" that I realized that she was having a completely different experience than I was. She was seeing through a child's eyes. Lydia was intent on blessing everything in her path and her intention was having a direct effect on me - it was actually transforming me.

John O'Donohue penned a beautiful book of blessings* several years ago that never ceases to move me. Listen to these words: "We have no idea the effect we actually have on one another. This is where blessing can achieve so much. Blessing as powerful and positive intention can transform situations and people. The force of blessing must be even more powerful when we consider how the intention of blessing corresponds with the deepest desire of reality for creativity, healing, and wholesomeness. Blessing has pure agency because it animates on the deepest threshold between being and becoming; it mines the territories of memory to awaken and draw forth possibilities we cannot even begin to imagine!" **

As I watched Lydia hug her tree I wondered if the tree was aware of her blessing, her love. And as we reached the water's edge and Lydia dipped her hand into the cold current, I began to sense that the water was enjoying the pureness of her attention. I was crossing the threshold between my perception of the park and Lydia's...and with that came a deep sense of kindness towards my surroundings. It's amazing to think of the power of one's intentions, isn't it? May we remain open to all the blessings that are coming our way today.

* To Bless the Space Between Us, A Book of Blessings by John O'Donohue, Copyright 2008
** quote from page 217

Do you want my advice?

"The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it,

to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not

and never persist in trying to set people right."

-Hannah Whitall Smith

One of my pet peeves

is people's need to give unsolicited advice.

I even have a rule against it in my classroom.

And while we are on this topic,

the best advice I ever received

from my mother was to take a good hard look

at anyone who gives you advice!

But if you have been asked for your advice,

Hannah's words are of great, great value.

Be Fruitful!

"Preparing food is not just about

yourself and others.

It is about everything."

Shunryu Suzuki

At our recent church staff meeting I was completely undone

by a fruit salad. Really. I was overwhelmed by the beauty

of the fruit - the colors/shapes/textures/ and yet I could not separate all of that from

the inner beauty of the woman who had carefully and lovingly crafted this work of art

for our nourishment and delight. It was a Christ-filled Eucharistic moment.

And I was not the only one to take a photo of this offering.

We all felt the "everything" that the author of this quote speaks of.

For a moment we hesitated about digging into that pineapple,

but we did so with gusto and do you know what it tasted like?

PURE LOVE

Thank you Elizabeth Sepesy

for gifting us with your fruitfulness

the koan

"The koan* is like a pebble in the mouth of a man

who walks in the desert.

It does not quench existing thirst,

but it stimulates the means of quenching it.

-C. Humphreys, Buddhism

*koan - n. A puzzling, often paradoxical statement,story, or parable,

used in Zen Buddhism as an aid to meditation and

as a means of gaining spiritual awakening.

I know the photo distracts from the beauty of the quote - but really,

how often do you see a man walking with a cheetah in the desert?

That's a koan worth pondering!

Taking a stroll: A Nomadic tribesman walks side by side

in the company of a cheetah that he has helped to tame.

More cool photos of the man with the cheetah from here