Friday, September 5, 2008

What makes love Real?

"The success of love is in the loving - it is not in the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done."

This quote has been attributed to Mother Teresa who died 11 years ago today. So often we believe love has to be a reciprocal action - I'll love you as long as you love me....but does it?
Her quote reminded me of a similar dialogue which took place in an odd film, "Adaption" that came out about five years ago. It starred Nicholas Cage, who played twin brothers who were attempting to write a screenplay. They had differing views on just about everything but Donald's view on love has always stayed with me:

Charlie Kaufman: There was this time in high school. I was watching you out the library window. You were talking to Sarah Marsh.

Donald Kaufman: Oh, God. I was so in love with her.

Charlie Kaufman: I know. And you were flirting with her. And she was being really sweet to you.

Donald Kaufman: I remember that.

Charlie Kaufman: Then, when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. And it was like they were laughing at *me*. You didn't know at all. You seemed so happy.

Donald Kaufman: I knew. I heard them.

Charlie Kaufman: How come you looked so happy?

Donald Kaufman: I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn't have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.

Charlie Kaufman: But she thought you were pathetic.

Donald Kaufman: That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago.
pause............

Donald Kaufman: Whats up?

Charlie Kaufman: Thank you.

Donald Kaufman: For what?

So...in order for Love to be Real, must it be returned?


4 comments:

Rebekah said...

There is something much more significant in loving than there is in being loved. Mutual affection is joyful, but there is something truly profound in loving alone.

Can you even fully grasp the vast void in the narcissistic? ...gives me the shivers.

kristin said...

• Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get — only what you are expecting to give — which is everything. What you will receive in return varies. But it really has no connection with what you give. You give because you love and cannot help giving. - Katherine Hepburn

gene said...

A song is not a song until you sing it,
A bell is not a bell until you ring it, and. . . .
The love in your heart was not put there to stay,
Love is not Love until you give it away.
. . . . Anon

Margaret D. McGee said...

If we believe that all love is from God and with God, then is there any such thing as a love that's not returned?