in the beginning...

good afternoon! it's sunday and i've just returned from st. paul's episcopal church in port townsend, where i spent the better part of this day. if you ever visit port townsend i'd recommend visiting this quaint and beautiful church which has been in the community since the 1860's. on many sundays i think about "the communion of saints" who sat in these same pews that i now find myself in - wondering about their stories, their sorrows and their joys. i feel connected to them as i kneel at the communion rail, waiting to receive the the precious body and blood of christ.

so the purpose of this blog is to give me a place to write about something new in my life - the discernment process. what am i called to? ordained ministry? lay leadership? or something else? just what is the next step that God is asking me to take? well this morning i met with KP who is on her own journey towards the diaconate. we had a very spendy latte in uptown and she listened to my fears. she told me that if this is truly a calling it will not let me go. for the last couple of months i've been secretly hoping that it would. i've been scattered in many directions but at every turn i bump into it again. damn.....and yet while singing in church today these words from hymn 474 pierced me, "love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all."

today's gospel reading, Luke 10:1-12, 16-20 was the sending out of the apostles in pairs. this has always been a difficult text for me for instead of focusing on what jesus called them to do i have focused on what i considered the more distasteful aspects of the passage - jesus telling them to wipe even the dust off their feet if they weren't welcomed. how could the apostles take back their blessing? but i heard a different approach in Rev. Elizabeth Bloch's (hereafter known as E+) homily this morning. she spoke of God's desire that all of us bless one another. it's not just the apostles who were given the power and ability to minister - it is for all of us! the apostles freed themselves from bags, sandals & purses. so what am i to free myself from? hmmmm