Growing Old Prayer

LORD, I AM GROWING OLD. . .

I do not want to be old before my time. I do not want to be an early retiree

or to fail to give all my energy to your service in my remaining years,

but I cannot deny the decades gone and the limited years ahead.

I feel more fragile, more vulnerable.

In my youth, there were so many days, months, yes years that seemed to lie ahead

that I fooled myself with illusions of immortality. Now I know the years are numbered,

and I sense in a new way that each day is a gift not to be presumed but to be cherished.

My relationship with you has always sustained me, directed me, and given me hope,

but too often I have neglected it, presumed it was there, and failed to nourish it.

Even my commitment to ministry seemed too often a product of compulsion

rather than zeal, of a desire to be esteemed rather than a desire to serve.

But this is less a time for regrets and self-criticisms

and more a time for gratitude and renewed commitments.

This is a time to deepen my relationship with you

and to be more attentive to your presence in my everyday life.

This is a time to be with you Lord,

and to invite you to be with me.

This is a time to surrender my life into your hands

and to discover that my name is written on the palm of your hand.

This is a time to tend to my deepest desires so that I can discover your desires for me.

This is a time to think about home and where my heart is and to unearth my treasure.

This is a time for abiding in you and noticing how you abide in me.

This is a time for harvesting and a time for planting new seeds

in the sure hope that you will give them growth.

Jesus, you said to Peter: ‘When you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt

and go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands,

and someone will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go’

John 21:18).

Lord, be with me as I grow old. Lead me, guide me

and draw me ever closer to your heart for only there will I find peace

and the assurance of life eternal. Amen.

Gerald M. Fagin, SJ is Associate Professor of Theology and Spirituality at the

Loyola Institute for Ministry, Loyola University, New Orleans. He has been involved

in the ministry of spiritual direction for thirty years and, for the past twenty years,

he has co-directed an internship in spiritual direction at the New Orleans Archdiocesan

Spirituality Center. This prayer was taken from his article “The Spiritual Exercises

and the Later Years” The Way, 43/1 (January 2004), p.78-79.