"O God of endings,you promised to be with me always.
even to the end of time.
Move with me now in these occasions of last things,
of shivering vulnerabilities and letting go:
letting go of parents gone,
past gone,
friends going,
old self growing;
letting go of children grown,
needs outgrown,
prejudices ingrown,
illusions overgrown;
letting go of swollen grudges and shrunken loves.
Be with me in my end of things,
My letting go of dead things,
dead ways,
dead words,
dead self I hold so tightly,
defend so blindly,
fear losing so frantically.
I teeter on the brink of endings:
some anticipated, some resisted,
some inevitable, some surprising,
most painful;
and the mystery of them quiets me to awe.
In silence, Lord, I feel now
the curious blend of grief and gladness in me
over the endings that the ticking and whirling of things brings;
and I listen for your leading
to help me faithfully move on through the fear
of my time to let go
so the timeless may take hold of me."
Ted Loder - Guerrillas of Grace - p. 83 - Augsburg Press
As I let go of my father and wait for "the call" I am preparing for my daughter to leave for college. The emails/phone calls have started from college of all the things we need to prepare for her arrival in late July/early August.
ReplyDeleteI realize that by the end of six months my father will be gone - my daughter will be away at school and my life will be very different.
I focus on letting go of any expectations that I may have. God has a plan for all of us - and I think He laughs when we make plans.
On a different note - thank all of you for our thoughts, prayers and good wishes for our family. People are amazing. A gal that I work with who I really don't know that well went out and bought my and my children groceries. Another mom made us a huge platter of pasta. It's always small things like this this turn into huge things to you when you are going through something like this.
You truly see Christ in others.
Oh, Roberta, I know... I've been through so many endings. You always wish each would come quickly and just get it over with, and sometimes they just won't do that. But with every ending there's at least one beginning, and the beginnings keep coming too, as many as we want. That's the whole thing about the resurrection - not to prove that "Jesus conquered death," because he already did that in raising others. And our ultimate home is not here in some "brought back from death" body anyhow. The resurrection is all about making us see that a wonderful beginning hides in every ending.
ReplyDeleteGod's peace as you find beginnings - Brad
This is profound and beautiful.
ReplyDelete